when I look in my future, I don’t see you and don’t wish to.

I read somewhere that we all go threw it, but for some of us it's ongoing. Well if this is it put a bullet in my head cause i could really use some sleep. Some lines, Same tricks. Well it's good to hear your voice but i would rather the silence. I stopped it, but some things don't go my way. Thought about death and dieing and your eyes and that time i passed out in the baar. My hands are shaking and the only person who can calm me down is on an island in the west. Im gunna hit him really hard if he looks at me like that again. Im biting my lips and chewing my pens and he's saying "Fuck Kim you think to much." So it was 4:44am and i found myself still awake cutting up the inside of my mouth with a sunken stomach. I annoy myself so i can't even imagine how you must feel.

He phone's me late at night when he is really drunk, this use to be once a week, but he has started drinking alot more. Every night i tell him the same thing, I say "I have a job, i work in 5 hours, You should drink some water and go to sleep." And he manages to slur out "Oh pretty baby, I just want to see you! I am crazy about you Kim! Just crazy!" I hang up, I drift away. This makes me more lonely then ever, Im gla i stopped drinking until i didn't know what i was doing. That was the worst coping mechanism ever. I still see those girls at the bars, but we just laugh and dance and sleep alone. Please restrain from making me at all any part of your life, my unreliable nature is in full effect and i always just want to be with her, her or alone.

Go listen to Against me covering Wagon Wheel, It's great... OR Listen to this song.